Glorysgirl

Wow so much has happened since the past time I posted that I can only resort to bullet points. Otherwise this post is going to be a novel!

• Antigua: beautiful, lots of work, lots of productivity, lots of inspiration.

• As Green As It Gets tour: amazing. Seriously inspiring. The young women who were working on their own projects like making purses, sewing their own bags for tea, making chapstick, helping with the coffee business – their determination and bright hopes for their futures was just incredible. It was great to get out of Antigua, speak a little Spanish, and see the smiles that Guatemalans are known for.
• Seattle: lovely. I think the weather was trying to make up for the last time I was there. Goodbye clouds and rain. Hello beautiful sunshine, cool weather, and nice breeze. Between that and the weather in Antigua it was just that much more difficult to come back to Houston humidity.
• Dawson wedding: what fun! The Bergman clan plus the Aussies made for one great party. Megan (and I’m sure Cress and the rest of the crew) did so much work to plan all the details. The setting was gorgeous, the band was rocking, the afterparty was a blast right up until the part where we waited for an hour and a half for cabs. Guess the evening couldn’t be 100% perfect, right?
• Etc: biking in West Seattle, yummy gigantic ice cream cones, laying in the grass with PB and Ranger, rolls, rolls, rolls, baseball game and singing, “nice, nice, nice”, and more.

And now my puffy face and I are trying to take it easy, read The Glass Castle in preparation for book club, and look forward to all the fun that August will bring!

I’ve been reading James the past few days. It is funny because James is one of the books of the Bible I have actually spent time previously studying in small group but for whatever reason I felt the need to dig back into it while here in Guatemala. This morning I read James 4. It starts off with humility. Now I’m all for humility – I think it is one of the most beautiful things to see. Check. Then it moves into judging others. Ok I get it … I agree even if sometimes what that means can be hard to put into practice. The end of James 4 in my study Bible has the title “Warning about Self-Confidence”. Humm …

Now the reason I really enjoy reading a study Bible is because often the verses of the Bible themselves are written in such a way that directly applying them to my own life is easy to avoid. James 4:13-17 is a bit the same. Don’t say I’m going to a town tomorrow to stay a year and make a profit? Ok cool I can do that. But to recognize that there is no point in making plans as though God does not exist because the future is in his hands? Not easy. Plan ahead but hold onto our plans loosely? Sometimes seems impossible.

The statement I like best is that “Life is short no matter how many years we live”. We should not be held back today from living the life we are called to, loving the people in our lives, and doing as we know we ought to.

So now onto Antigua (sorry this will be a long post) Yesterday was full of moving around the town as our teams do. We went to service in the morning at Las Obras Sociales del Hermano Pedro. The Obras is where all of our Antigua surgery teams do their surgical procedures on the patients we bring in from the villages. The Obras hosts not only our Faith In Practice teams but also other surgical teams from around the world. In addition it is home to children and adults with disabilities or those who need full time care (the elderly, children with nutritional deficiencies). Let me just say that you have never been touched by a service in the way that you would by attending mass at the Obras. They bring in all (or at least those where it is possible) of those who live at the Obras in their wheelchairs or on their own and they fill the church aisles. Although many cannot sing that exact worlds of the songs, voices and noise of worship fills the church. It is the perfect display of praise in whatever way a person is able.

We then toured the Obras and I got to see where the magic happens. Of course our ORs were just a small part of the building. Seeing where all of the men and women and children live was very touching. I received probably the best hugs of my entire life by one of the young women who lives at the Obras. She didn’t want to let go and neither did I! Another surgery team, Faces of Hope, was doing their traige. They operate on many needing cleft palette and lip repairs.

Then I got to hop around to see the hotels and restaurants our teams frequent while here in Antigua. Beautiful! We ended the Antigua tour with a stop at Casa de Fe, the “Ronald McDonald house” for patients while they are in Antigua for their surgeries. It was FULL of patients here for the Faces of Hope team, so many cute little babies and their parents. Packed with mattresses and laundry hanging on the line to dry. A warm place for those who would otherwise have no where to stay while here for these life-changing surgical procedures.

Then we ended the day with a little shopping in the markets (haven’t bought anything yet – sorry if you were expecting souvenirs! ha!) and dinner at a more typical Guatemalan restaurant. Tacos with potato, queso, and guacamole. Yum. Now it will be one full day of work and the continual rain here (it is the rainy season I suppose) and then I leave tomorrow afternoon.

Hasta luego y besitos!

Yes it has been a little rainy here in Antigua. For some reason it feels fitting, as everything is so green surrounding us. Yesterday morning was spent recapping our village season for work and preparing for this season to come. When we thought we’d have a slow couple of months after our mission season ended I suppose we didn’t account for our volunteers chomping at the bit to plan for the next year. It is wonderful to have such enthusiasm for service!

In the afternoon I wandered to the market with our executive director to check on some of the Angeles and Tres Reyes we are having carved for our Gala centerpieces and marketplace. The angels are still a work in progress but we got eight sets of the three kings. They really are beautiful. Not entirely my style (as I explained to our ED the sculptures I like best are the Calaveras (the skulls).

Later on in the day I was out walking around the streets and they were holding some type of children’s race. There were kids, age probably four years old to ten, running through the streets on a probably 1 mile or so race. It was super cute, although entirely far too dangerous for my likes since the kids were running right along with the cars at times. I wish I could have taken a photo of this one tiny little boy, four or five at most, running up the sidewalk with his little tank top and running shorts and number on his chest. He was so focused, pumping his arms and trying to keep up. Adorable.

Last night we went to Santo Domingo for dinner and it was fabulous. I have never known the black bean soup (one of my favorites anyway) could taste so good. Ahh. Then we took some time to walk around the ruins of the monastery that the restaurant and hotel is built around/into. It looked like they were set up for a wedding the following day. I can think of few cooler places to get married … maybe I should start saving my money.

Off for another day!

Sitting in three hours of traffic, scrambling, cursing, not having time for dinner, leaving my phone (and therefore music) somewhere (hopefully the car), barely making my flight, and sitting on a freezing cold plane. Let’s just say that the trip did not necessarily start out well. Thankfully by the time I stepped outside the airport in Guatemala City and the cool breeze hit me – everything else became simply a memory. Hello Guatemala.

Today was a beautiful day. I woke up early, of either my own accord or the bright sun peeking through the window, and walked down with my boss to get coffee and breakfast cookies. Yes breakfast cookies. I then wandered down on my own to the park down the street and the big church on the corner. It is the giant yellow church with elaborate white sculpturing on the exterior. The inside smells exactly like what a church should smell like (old, musty, slightly blessed).

We worked this morning with the windows open throughout the apartment and the sun was shining all morning. Lunch was nearby (super yummy sandwiches) and then we were back at it this afternoon, albeit with a quick rain shower interrupted the sun. It is so nice to work through some of our issues from the season in person. There really is nothing like talking in person, all at one table, as opposed to through broken phone calls and back and forth emails. Plus when you can end the day sorting through the last issues over a glass of wine … it makes it just that much easier.

We ended the day by walking down to a Thai restaurant that had piano music and a warm interior – no air conditioning to spoil the night breeze. There are some mosquitoes so I guess it isn’t entirely perfect. But in all seriousness I see how people come here to volunteer for a month and then find they are not able to leave. As for me – I’m looking forward to exploring tomorrow afternoon (work in the morning) and on Sunday. I’m sure I’ll be excited to head back to the states on Tuesday, especially since that means heading to Seattle for more fun, but for now I’m really enjoying this time away from my normal comfort zone.

(Nathan Hoang)

Last year on this day I was leaving for a fantastic adventure in Europe, a time to be alone a bit, explore on my own, see beautiful parts of the world and rediscover who I was. I love the following song because it makes me think a lot about that time and how far I have come since then. I guess a bit of a message to myself you might say.

I wish you could see me now
I wish I could show you how
I’m not who I was
I used to be mad at you
A little on the hurt side too
But I’m not who I was

I found my way around
To forgiving you
Some time ago
But I never got to tell you so

I found us in a photograph
I saw me and I had to laugh
You know, I’m not who I was
You were there, you were right above me
And I wonder if you ever loved me
Just for who I was

When the pain came back again
Like a bitter friend
It was all that I could do
To keep myself from blaming you

I reckon it’s a funny thing
I figured out I can sing
Now I’m not who I was
I write about love and such
Maybe ’cause I want it so much
I’m not who I was

I was thinking maybe I
I should let you know
I am not the same
But I never did forget your name
Hello

Well the thing I find most amazing
In amazing grace
Is the chance to give it out
Maybe that’s what love is all about

I wish you could see me now
I wish I could show you how
I’m not who I was

[Brandon Heath]

So perhaps some sort of explanation should be offered as to why it has been two whole weeks (!) since I have blogged. There really isn’t one. I have had interesting things to write about, I’ve had the time to do it, I’ve even had moments where I stumbled across funny pictures/videos/comics and thought “humm I should save that for my blog”. But nope, nothing, nada.

Here’s what I will say: I’ve been spending a fair amount of time lately reflecting, thinking, turning inward. Not about one thing in particular but rather about many things in particular. It is in moments like those that there is so much to say but never quite the right time or place to say it in. Hence the lack of blogging.

Last year at this time I was unemployed, a bit at a loss for a plan, and ready to embark on a two week journey of my own to Europe. I had no idea where I was going (literally in Europe and also in life) and to be honest I am not entirely sure I had figured out where I had been up until that moment. I was, and of course in some ways still am, pretty lost.

I’ve realized that if anything has changed since last year it has been that my faith has grown. If nothing else this has been what has kept me afloat. I am so happy with the blessings in my life but I am also so happy because I know that so many more good things are to come, even if I cannot always see what that may exactly look life. What I do know is that these are going to be a busy next few weeks but I’ll try to remember that if I don’t keep writing I won’t be able to do the “what was I doing this time last year” lookup in my blog next year like I do now!

It’s the first day of July and all of the sudden it hit me that we are halfway through the year. Seriously? Not only that but we are halfway through the year and that year is 2010. Where does time even go anymore?

My mom remarked the other day that it has been 7 years since I graduated highschool. For some reason that seems rather reasonable to me. I mean highschool seems light years away. I barely remember highschool much less do I feel like it was just occurring. Same actually is beginning to happen for college. It is starting to feel as if it is part of the more distant past rather than the “wow didn’t we just graduate” past.

You know what doesn’t feel real yet though is that it has been a year since I moved back to Texas from San Francisco. I mean it does not seem as if I was recently living there, but since I keep up with the Bay Area happenings (news, weather, people doing everyday strange things) for BCP it seems too familiar to be an entire year back. Houston still doesn’t entirely feel like home but I suppose it feels more like home than anywhere else.

Besides a tropical beach somewhere in the Caribbean where I could drink pina coladas all day, listen to the ocean, and read. For some odd reason that feels exactly like the type of place where I’d feel at home. I mean as long as I could bring along all the people I love and of course my dog Glory.

I’m (still) reading Donald Miller’s Searching for God Knows What. It’s one of those books that cuts right to the heart of things so sometimes I have to take a break from it and read some fiction or something less thought provoking for a bit. Maybe it is because otherwise it may not hit me as hard. There is really only so much thought provoking you can take.

There’s a phrase in it that I read today talking about how parents can really only hold their children, love their children, because until we get to heaven, all we can do is hold our palms over the wounds. I’m not sure why but that phrase stuck with me. Holding our palms over the wounds. I guess because so often it seems that there should be things, certain feelings or those that are lacking, that I feel we should be able to fix. Some might think it is perhaps sad to think this way but I find it encouraging that there will always be a part of ourselves that cannot be fixed because in reality we are just holding our palms over the wounds until we can be complete again.

I went to church this morning and we sang a song I hadn’t heard before, or at least do not remember having heard. Usually traditional hymns talk a lot about God and use metaphors and when you get to the end of it you’ve sung a very pretty song that you can never quite pin down what it means. Or maybe that’s just me. But this one seemed to say something that made sense:

Will you love the ‘you’ you hide
If I but call your name?
Will you quell the fear inside
And never be the same?
Will you use the faith you’ve found
To reshape the world around,
Through my sight and touch and sound
In you and you in me?

That may just be a mishmash of thoughts but I suppose to me it all fits together. It reminds me that it’s normal to not feel normal sometimes – this is not our home. But that we have to step up, love the parts that seem unlovable, and do what we can with the time that we have. 

Here comes the rest of the week! 

“I always wanted a happy ending….Now I’ve learned, the hard way, that some poems don’t rhyme, and some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it without knowing what’s going to happen next. Delicious ambiguity.” – Gilda Radner

(great quote via Cubanalaf)